Second Chance
by CasWithAShotgun
Summary: What happens when Remus gives in and goes to visit Sirius in Azkaban after 3 years of leaving him in solitude? Will he ever believe Sirius, or will he leave him to rot in Azkaban? Does Remus himself even know what he believes? One-shot


**Author's Note: Well, I just got really bored, and I got this thought into my head: What if Remus had given in and gone to talk to Sirius while he was in Azkaban? I know that he probably wouldn't have been allowed visitors, but you have to admit, it's a fairly interesting thought. So I wrote it. (Obviously)  
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**Anyway, enough of my usual rant. I give you:**

**Second Chance**

"Er- excuse me, sir, I would like to see Sirius Black?" Remus said it as if it was a question because, at the moment, he was questioning his sanity just as much as every other being in this godforsaken place.

The guard laughed. "We hardly ever get visitors for anyone in here, and never once for Sirius Black! The slimy git…" The guard laughed harder. "So, who is it that you're really here for?"

"I'm really here for Si- for Black." Repeated Remus with a little bit more confidence leaking into his voice; just a little.

"Alright then, mate," chuckled the guard, "You're probably as mad as him, though, I'd expect." And with that, the tattooed man quickly led Remus through the twisted halls of Azkaban. Remus could hear the water lapping upon the shore, but it was an ominous sort of sound rather than a relaxing one. The intertwining screams of the madmen that filled the prison, trapped in their minds by the Dementors, didn't exactly help either. Remus was positively shaking.

"Oh, and mate, I'll be needing to take your wand. Security measures, you know?" The man smiled in a twisted manner, showing his rotted and missing teeth. Reluctantly, Remus placed the smooth wood of his wand into the guard's outstretched hand. "Good, now just go in that room there, and we'll bring 'im in." The guard continued to chuckle to himself as he turned and went to collect Sirius, still muttering about how much of a madman Remus must be to want to see Sirius.

And perhaps he was. But the doubt had been eating at Remus for the past 3 years, even though the grief felt just as raw as ever. All the evidence pointed to Sirius in a way that couldn't possibly be debatable, and yet, Remus still couldn't accept it. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he was here for confirmation, or to confront Sirius and give him a piece of his mind. Or maybe he just wanted the one piece of the puzzle that would lock it all together: Why would he do it? _Why _would Sirius Black do that to his best friends? He was always so loyal; they had all believed that he would die for any one of them. None of it made the least bit of sense, and Remus may have had it even worse than Sirius; he had been alone for three years, completely alone, just him and the wolf haunting his soul. It was slowly killing him. So perhaps he was here just for some concrete proof that his childhood, his wonderful childhood, had existed.

Running a hand through his prematurely greying locks, Remus stepped into the room. It was dark and dank, with bars on the windows and a singular white light swinging eerily from the stone ceiling. A guard stood at the door like a cat ready to pounce. There was a small hole in the ceiling steadily leaking with a soft dripping sound due to the dreary rain outside. The whole atmosphere made a wandless Remus feel helpless and even more nervous.

Hesitantly, Remus crossed to the chair on the far side of the room and turned to face the door. He almost sat down in the rickety chair, but decided against it, so he just leaned on the far wall facing the entrance with his arms crossed on his chest, trying to look more confident than he felt.

Finally, the guard came back. He opened the door and shoved Sirius down to the floor before quickly leaving with one last bark of a laugh that reminded Remus oddly of Sirius' dog-like one. There was a long silence in which Sirius lay on the floor, trying to get up. Having been immediately thrown to the ground, Sirius hadn't seen Remus yet, and was confused by the fact that someone had finally come to see him after three years of solitude.

Eventually, Sirius managed to stumble into a standing position and looked around the room for his visitor. His slate grey eyes grew huge under the mop of dirty, gnarled hair that had once been his pride and joy.

"Remus," he croaked.

"Black." stated Remus coolly, his tone of voice surprising even himself. Sirius seemed stung by the singular word and recoiled. Remus gestured to the chair nearest to the door and Sirius slowly walked over to it and sat, the guard watching his every move like a hawk but remaining silent. There was another prolonged silence that hung in the air before Sirius spoke.

"Remus, I-" Remus held up a hand to silence him.

"Listen, Si- Black. I came here for an explanation, and I intend on getting one." Sirius recoiled even more, Remus was nothing like himself. He was so…cold: Remus, the caring, thoughtful man that Sirius had once known, had turned hard, grown a shell of sorts to protect himself from even more hurt. Then again, grief does that to a person.

Sirius couldn't take the penetrating gaze Remus was giving him. "It wasn't me! You know it wasn't!" Remus jumped a little when Sirius blurted out his claim of innocence, but quickly went back to leaning against the wall indifferently, the rough gray stone cold against his tattered robes.

"Do I?" He said plainly.

That was the last straw. Sirius just couldn't stop the tears that began to spill out of his eyes, leaving distinct tear tracks in the grime that covered his face.

"Remus….Remus, please- you've got to believe me! I-" Sirius choked, unable to continue talking through the now continuous flow of salty tears making their way across the sharp plains of his gaunt face before dripping off of his chin and leaving small, wet blotches on the filthy Azkaban uniform that covered him.

Remus let down his guard a small amount when he saw this. "Alright, Sirius- I'm going to give you one chance to convince me. After that, I'm not wasting any more of my time on your lies."

Grasping desperately to this chance, Sirius did the best he could to explain everything that had happened: Switching secret-keepers, giving Harry up to Hagrid for some reason Sirius himself didn't even understand, going after Peter, Peter's trickery, everything he could say around the golf-ball sized lump in his throat his old friend's cold demeanor had left.

"….and I know it was stupid, Remus, I really do! I know I shouldn't have gone after him, and I know that Harry should've been my first priority! It's just…I was grieving. I was grieving and I wasn't thinking straight."

Remus gave a cold laugh that sounded nothing at all like himself, and it was clear that he didn't believe a word Sirius said. "That's your excuse? That's your excuse for killing innocent people, and Peter! For landing yourself in Azkaban, and for acting like the most vile Black ever to walk the earth! That's your excuse for giving Lily and James away, ultimately ending in their death! Grieving? We were all grieving! And, come to think of it, I might as well throw Harry's life in there too, because you had no way of knowing that he would live. I thought you loved him, Sirius, the way you acted around Harry, giving him rides on your motorbike at night to help him fall asleep; but I guess I was wrong, because if you loved him, if you loved any of them, you wouldn't have done this! You just fed me the most far-fetched pile of crap I've heard in a long time, Black."

Sirius looked down and his dirty, calloused feet and whispered. "I'm sorry, Remus. Truly, I am. I'm sorry for leaving you alone to cope with this. I'm sorry for not putting you and Harry first, and I'm sorry for believing in Peter; I should've seen it, he always did like having the biggest friends he could find, and that apparently includes Voldemort," Sirius said this while remembering the way Peter worshipped him and James more and more as they gained popularity, and practically groveled at Remus' feet as well once he found out he had a werewolf for a friend. "But there's nothing I can do about my own stupidity now; all I want is your forgiveness, Remus, and for you to believe me- even just a little bit. I don't expect you to come back here and visit me; I can see that you believe everyone else. I can see that you really think that I'm a dirty traitor that doesn't deserve a minute of your time- and I don't. It was really stupid of me to trust Peter with the job of Secret-Keeper, but I would never betray them on purpose! I thought you'd know that!" Sirius' voice kept getting louder the longer he talked, but he was never exactly shouting; Remus wasn't sure he could, because his voice was so cracked from lack of use.

"I thought I knew you, Sirius, but apparently I didn't, so I don't know what to believe anymore! Why wouldn't you tell me that you switched Secret-Keepers? What, you didn't trust me? That's rich." Sirius continued to be amazed by Remus' tone of voice; what had happened to Remus, his brother in everything but blood? Could this be his fault?

"I….I had moments where I had- er- my doubts…" Sirius stuttered. Remus looked taken aback. "Oh, come one, Remus! You and I both know that at least 3 Death Eaters tried to talk you into joining them when Voldemort was recruiting werewolves, and you were always away on missions for the Order but you would never tell us where you were! Doesn't that sound the least bit suspicious to you?" Sirius pleaded, catching Remus' eye, trying to convey the guilt he felt over his doubts, but at the same time trying to get him to understand that it was for good reason that Sirius had been so cautious.

"You really believed I was the traitor…" Remus spoke quietly, more to himself than anyone.

"I'm sorry." Sirius repeated. A thick blanket of silence rested over the two men once again.

"Well, that's all the crap I can take for one day, Sirius," Remus stated eventually, after some deep thinking. "I'm leaving before you try to feed me more lies." Well, that was Remus' excuse, anyway, but Sirius couldn't help but notice that Remus finally said his first name, and he wasn't talking quite as coldly as before: There was a small undertone of sympathy mixed in, and maybe some confusion as well- some doubt.

Sirius watched Remus' back as he pushed himself off the wall and began to retreat to the door. "Wait!" He called. Remus turned around and slowly cocked one eyebrow as a sign that he was listening against his better judgment. "Will you come to see me again, Remus? I know I don't deserve it, but seeing you….I want to see you again, Remus, I miss having someone to talk to; whether you believe me or not, I'd rather have you here yelling at me than not have you here at all."

"I'll think about it." Was all Remus allowed before turning on his heel and exiting; he couldn't wait to get out of there.

Uncertain though they were, those words may well have been the only thing that kept Sirius going for so long in Azkaban, waking up every day in his freezing, cramped cell as Padfoot and hoping that Remus would come to see him. Some part of him knew he wouldn't- no one would ever voluntarily come to Azkaban, really- but it gave him something to believe in, a small ray of hope on the always-dark island of Azkaban.

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><p>Perhaps this is why Remus only had to take one look at Sirius' pleading face that night in the Shrieking Shack before he gave in, smiling genuinely for the first time in over a decade- a smile that didn't have any sadness hidden behind it for once, because even when Harry had successfully produced a Patronus, all Remus could think of was how he wished Lily and James could have seen him, of how proud they would be of their son. Perhaps this is why Remus immediately gave Sirius his hand to help him up and pulled Sirius into an embrace, brothers once again, and why Remus only had to utter one word into Sirius' ear to let him know that he was going to give him a second chance:<p>

"Padfoot."

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><p><strong>Please review and let me know what you thought! <em>Please<em>? :D**

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><p><strong>Guys, I've done some easy math, and only 1 in 247 of you guys are reviewing! It's not that hard, come on, pleaseeee? WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME? Haha jk, I'm sorry, I just had caffiene ._o<strong>

**But still...  
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